Vanilla Lily

Walking towards moules frites & dry white wine at the Continental Hotel, Whitstable

* moules-frites and crisp dry white wine at the Hotel Continental with the sun setting over the sea and good company

* whitstable. In fact, British sea-side towns in general

* one perfect meal in a little wine shop near the Jardin de Luxembourg, Paris

* staying self-catering in cities and playing our what-if-we-lived-here game

* walking through shoreditch and realising how much I would want to live here if I was playing that game

Not so much a list as a happy realisation really.

Work has been bonkers and will continue in that vain for a good few weeks to come but my brain has seized totally today so I have decided to give myself to the rest of the day off.

Wanting a treat, wanting to do something productive, wanting to avoid looking at the pooter screen for an hour or two – and in the absence of nice mindless drama on the tele – I did what I generally do in such circumstances and decided to bake a cake (vanilla-almond sponge with pears, thanks for asking).

I just opened the oven door to check progress and as the warm-sponge scented steam wrapped itself around me like a vaporous hug I suddenly realised that the smell reminds me – totally and wonderfully and forever – of my Marmar.

And that makes me very happy indeed.

My happy list this week is very simple:

Family.

It was Marmar’s funeral on Tuesday and hearing my uncle – who did most of the talking in the secular service – speaking about the amazing woman he called Mum, listening to some of her sharp, insightful funny poems and jigging in our seats to some of her favourite tunes made me laugh and cry and swell with love and thankfulness that I was jammy enough to land her – and the fun, loving, free-spirited family she created – in the Great Grandma Lottery.

Result!

(God but I miss her.)

xxx

Have you ever noticed that you become super-empathetic when heart-sick?

I’m feeling pretty sad at the moment as my lovely grandmother died yesterday (peacefully and at 88. She was ready so its a selfish kind of sadness as we’re going to miss her badly) and I’m finding myself really feeling for people – I mean physically hurting – when I hear of others who are having a tough time. I was just watching these captivating films by Crush+Lovely (via Random Acts of Reality) and felt as though I’d been hit in the chest by what the guy at 3:23 had to say. I really hope he’s doing OK.

I’m glad the guy at 2:29 got his wish though!

Truth is, this year could have got off to a better start – the fact that its Sunday and I’m in the workshop with two projects to work on is just one example why (one of the frothier ones, truth be known).

When things are feeling a bit bleak one has a choice between wallowing in the awfulness of it all – tempting and sometimes quite cathartic but not very constructive; or trying to focus on the positive things in life. I’ve been seeing more and more references to ‘Happy Lists’ recently, I’m not sure where the idea originated (should find out really…) but it seems to have suddenly suffused the zeitgeist. And I like it! In a suitably zeitgeisty way, I realised that writing short notes to my ailing grandmother this week, and making a concerted effort to keep things light and chatty, has forced me to notice the small smiles scattered through the day. Which can only be good right?

So, in that spirit, I thought I might try to post a weekly happy list here.

First up, the picture above by Toulouse-Lautrec. Isn’t it wonderful? So warm, so cosy, so intimate – it looks like love. I spotted the card (though unfortunately not the picture, that’s a mission for another time) as we were leaving the d’Orsay one day last March and fell in love with it.

Other things that are making me happy today:

• sunshine in January

• coffee from my favourite coffee shop made by a smiling man who took the time to make a beautiful pattern with the milk in the creamy top even though it was going in a take-away cup with a lid on (is that an antipodean thing? The guys at Flat White do it too and make similarly great coffee – more creamy richness, less airy froth in their lattes)

• the new Joshua Radin album. Love.

What’s making you happy today?

It is practically May already (terrifying enough in itself I know). On Saturday I gleefully texted Far-Flung Corner and Seasonally-Affected Corner that I was outside, without a coat, and WARM. The thrill of it!

Naturally I should have known better: its been pissing down ever since and I’m back to wearing my massive cardi and ugg boots in the stoodio. I’m eyeing up my mittens…

I love my Uggs – they may be truly ugly but they sure are snuggly! Just as long as no-one expects me to walk too far in them as it is all but impossible not to scuff your feet and, for reasons I can’t pretend to understand, the sound of scuffing feet on a pavement makes me inarticulate with rage.

UPDATE – I just realised that my ceiling is leaking. Again. Did I mention that its been pissing down?